THESE DAYS (July '11)

These days:

I'm obsessed with...
- stretching
- lemonade

I'm spending my time...
- at the national archives, raking in the summer $$.

I'm trying to...
- be able to do the splits in 30 days
- avoid foods with lots of added sugar

I'm realizing...
- how self-centered i am
- how lazy i am with tasks i don't enjoy

I'm changing...
- how i view the word: less about me, more God and others
- how i approach tasks that i don't enjoy

watch stuff grow.

I recently spent a half hour finding this article online. It's a favorite of mine - I read it back when I wasn't doing so well in the Fall with being sick, struggling with the depression and change of it all, and just an overall sense of failure that came with my new limits. http://articles.latimes.com/2010/sep/21/opinion/la-oe-weaver-pumpkins-20100921

xoxo
Hope you are well.

THESE DAYS (april'11)

These days..

I'M OBSESSED WITH
- using grocery bags as a shower cap
- jergens body lotion, xoxo
- scrubbing down my skin with my loofa
- KIND fruit and nut bars
- glitter nail polish

I'M DOING SWELL AT
- keeping room clean; laundry all put away
- taking my vitamins every day
- crazy good dental hygiene: brush, floss, tongue-scrape, rinse.
- staying calm and relaxed about life and responsibilities

NEED TO PICK UP MY SLACK IN
- making my bed
- going to my govt job. flexibility = lazy brielle.
- going to more of my college classes
- reading my economics books

I'M LISTENING TO
- "Falling In" by Lifehouse
- "Colder Weather" by Zac Brown Band
- "Somewhere with You" by Kenny Chesney

--
in time of daffodils who know
the goal of living is to grow
- ee cummings

One year with lyme.

These last two weeks I have been celebrating my 1 year anniversary with lyme disease.

I'm much calmer about life these days. I've found that most everything can be put back together. And, when they cant be put together and we fall apart at the loss and change, we can be put back together.

This means you don't have to worry about failing, messing up, letting people down, or ruining your life. Just plant seeds in whatever season you find yourself in. Trust God to make things grow, rejoice when he does, submit to his pruning, and trust when you don't know how the seeds will take root.

One of my favorite life-will-be-okay-songs to listen to is Rob Thomas' "Little Wonders." Our lives are made of "these little wonders - these twists and turns of fate." I really, really don't like lyme disease. It's annoying. But this little twist has been a wonder. I love how far I've come, and don't regret this last year. My life, and my person has changed and morphed in good ways. I'm calm, I trust the Lord more, I'm not as obsessed with my works and abilities. Most of all, there's this deep love and happiness. I'm am often weary of life, yet there's this different sort of happiness, it's calm and steady love for God and others that causes me to enjoy the days here.

Looking ahead still scares me a lot. I have no idea how certain things are going to fall into place this year, let alone for the rest of my life with this disease. I can give my babies lyme through the freaking placenta and breast milk. (a. yes i just said that and b. yes i think way to far ahead..) But I know that a year ago, this year looked like darkness, and that darkness has turned to light. Tomorrow, and 20 years from now, will be the same way.

And man, it feels good to be done with year 1.

my word of the year: step

(more coming. it's written in my journal, just have to type it up.)

Desperate Times: College Edition

The desperate measures that I have been reduced to during my college years.

1. Stealing toilet paper from campus because we have none at our house.

2. Trading brownies to the neighbor boys for toilet paper.

3. Ordering underwear online so that I will have to do my laundry less frequently and will avoid having to take the time to go shopping .

4. Sleeping on the couch in the common room instead of my bedroom in hopes that it will make it easier to get up the next morning.

Eighteen things. [updated]

I turned 18 a couple of weeks ago and one of the things I decided to do was create a list of eighteen things I want to do before I turn 19 (and then I'll do nineteen things, etc. etc.)

Here's what I have so far (not quite finished yet).

18 THINGS AT 18

1. Grow potted flowers and/or herbs. (CHECK AND CHECK!)

2. Join the fire dept.

3. Read 10 non-school books. (See progress here.)

4. Re-learn to knit.

5. Mail someone a care package.

6. Send 5 people cards/postcards.

- erin

7. Recover my journal. (CHECK!)

8. Try 5 new places to eat.

- Yogiberry

- Yoyogi Sushi

- Chloe's Coffee

- that burger place in vt (photos on phone)

-

9. Memorize 3 chapters of the Bible.

10. Buy a casual dress.

11. Go to the beach. (CHECK!)

12. Try 10 new recipes.

- gf df pumpkin bread

- gf df cinnamon rolls or this recipe

- gf df walnut bread

- wild rice / yogurt spinach salad

- homemade (and thus dairy free) nutella

13. Buy a poster or painting. (CHECK! - Robb Painting, Elise Blaha poster)

14. Re-design my new bedroom.

15. 30 push-ups.

16. Buy curtains for Stanford house. (CHECK!)

17. Learn to write and run apple scripts.

.: oct third twenty-ten

Reviewed this list. Excited about seeing actual progress. Was feeling bogged down with everything..this is good and uplifting. Need to keep working on photos and tracking it all in a format for my "18 things booklet." Worst case scenario, I don't document 18 in a book and use the book for 19. But I'd like to do it. I can worry about that next semester. Right now, just happy that I'm making good progress.

.: jan fifteenth

When I made my 18th-Year-Goals, I had no idea what was in store. The goals contain remnants from my pre-lyme-self (push ups, fire dept), but also give room for things I didn't realize would be a huge deal (trying new recipes with my new gluten and dairy free diet). This list represents a year of much change and includes things that I had to give up, and things I had to grow into.

G.K. Chesteron - Exult in Monotony

G.K. Chesteron:

A child kicks his legs rhythmically through excess, not absence, of life.

Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, “Do it again”; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony.

But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony.

It is possible that God says every morning, “Do it again” to the sun: and every evening, “Do it again” to the moon.

It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them.

It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we.

The repetition in Nature may not be a mere recurrence; it may be a theatrical encore.

—”The Ethics of Elfland,” chapter 4 in Orthodoxy.

HT: Justin Taylor

Dear Brielle, (3 years ago)

Dear Brielle,

(3 years ago, age 15,

junior year of high school)

1. It's okay to go to bed with homework unfinished. Doing 80% worth is not a personal act of disobedience to your teacher (especially when your parents wish you would just sleep). It is okay to decide to not do everything. Some things are worth lower grades. Like your health and sanity.

2. Moreover an occasional B or C doesn't actually affect your grade for that class too much. Pull out a calculator and determine what really matters for your teacher's grading rubric, and give yourself some guidelines that have breathing room.

3. You don't need to solve all the problems for homework, for your life, for other people.

4. You are going to realize at the end of this year that you did too much too soon. You will end up skipping 11th grade, which is fantastic. However, you'll still not have enough classes to take in 12th grade. You really could have left one off of this year's schedule.

5. Breathe, kid, breath. You end up with good grades. The drama production goes great. The summer camp is a blast. And you'll wish you could go back and tell yourself to laugh and not cry and not worry.

6. This year is very hard, but very good. You will have so many happy memories of late nights in the lobby painting cows with Becca, taking walks around the building with her looking for a prince charming model, and you'll even fondly recall the craziness of early morning chapel setups and late night ap government cramming.

7. You did the right thing moving on from him. It's hard. You will be friends with him again, but you're too young to make this decision and it was good to get out.

8. Don't cry when your math teacher fails two of your 150 assignments. It won't affect your average, really it won't.

9. You are not fat.

10. Don't leave your caffeine in the car when you go to take the SAT the 2nd time. You end up with a massive headache and fall asleep for half of it.

11. You don't eat and sleep enough and stress way too much. You don't have your period for the freaking entirety of this year. This is not healthy or normal, please be better to yourself.

12. Don't rush life. Be responsible by working hard. But also handle the time skillfully by enjoying it. You think this time is the worst thing ever, but it's beautiful and you're going to miss it.

10 things Re: Fall Semester that I am excited about.

(something to try to get my to be okay with the idea of going back to school. right now working through depression, this is a big scary idea.) ;-)

1. Being with the roomies.

2. The new houseplants Joanna and I purchased in New Jersey.

3. The food co-op at Maryland.

4. Being 5 minutes away from Yogiberry and bubble tea (!!).

5. Routine.

6. College friends.

7. Having all my own food again.

8. The gym at school.

9. TBD

10. TBD :-)

Resolutions.

1. I resolve to quit EWB and never return.

2. I resolve to keep my room clean.

3. I resolve to keep my basil plant alive.

4. I resolve to have study parties with Gloria.

5. I resolve to have more study time in Joanna's piano practice rooms while she plays.

6. I resolve to drink lots of bubble tea.

7. I resolve to drop a class if I don't laugh for a month like Spring'10. :P

2010 - Looking Ahead

January was wonderful. I love 2010.

I want to look forward to it all.

We'll never stop this train.

February

Blizzard. (Actually that is happening now..)

Week off of school due to said blizzard. (yayyy).

After said break, I will be returning to coffee.

Irina's 21st Birthday.

Valentines Day

John Mayer Live (!!!) with Whitney

Stacey & John David get married. (!!)

Tyler's 1st birthday.

March

My 18th birthday. Weird.

Spring Break

April

Anna Somerville's Wedding (!!)

Becca & Brielle's joint 18th birthday party

May

Becca turns 18

Done with my first year of college (!!!!)

Next Conference

Diana's 19th birthday.

June

Summer Celebration :-)

July

EMT Certification

Mom's Birthday

New Jersey

August

Vacation - More NJ, Point Pleasant Beach this time.

Sophomore year of college begins. Again, weird.

September

Austin's birthday

[?? more stuff please ??]

October

The leaves change color. [ok that's lame. i need more stuff for october.]

November

Christmas shopping - I vow to be done before December begins.

December

Winter Break

Shmer Bear turns 19.

Christmas

--

POST WILL BE UPDATED OVER THE COMING MONTHS.

:)

January

In January I will be:

- Working many hours.

- Staying off caffeine until school begins on the 25th.

- Starting the Spring semester.

- Moving back to school (obviously).

- Moving my room at home from upstairs to the basement.

- Coordinating a friend's wedding at the Weinberg.

(In other news I've already started dreaming about summer, watermelon, and the beach.)

September

1 month & 1 day since last post.

* Started college. University of Maryland!!

* Moved to college. (It was a really last minute decision..happened 2nd week of school.)

* Fall began!!!

And just for fun - a midnight studying photo from reading literature last night.

Summer 2009

Strawberry/banana smoothie,
Peach-Orange-Banana smoothie,
NJ ocean,
Root beer floats on vacation.

July Highlights

Posts coming on my July highlights

* Recovered from June
* Got a Macbook Pro 15" & an iPod touch
* College orientation
* Helping Janet with a wedding reception (crazy times)
* Beach!! (Point Pleasant, NJ)

June

Since my last post (June 15), lots of fun stuff has happened.
:D :D

::June 22-26::
Administrated a kids camp at my church called Summer Celebration. It was our best year ever. We had 460 kids and about 140 of them were kids whose parents weren't members of the church.


::June 27::
Coordinated wedding receptions for Mary & Jimmy Wilson.

::June 28::
Went up to NJ for a few days to spend time w/ my awesome cousins & sister Sequoia.