looked in a mirror partway through and i looked like a raccoon with huge dark circles. not even kidding. and i spent most of the day on the verge of tears. which was fun because i worked at the receptionist desk at my church all day. fortunately, nothing tipped me over the edge. i didn't cry at all until now as i type all this, which is fine because i'm alone eating a potato. :-)
today was good.
i was reminded of God's nearness and care.
i laughed at things.
i was reminded that God has a plan to use me.
the other day i was talking to someone and they said they had an impression that the Lord would use me in a certain way. the biggest surprise to me was the idea that God was going to use me in a specific way one day. that He could use me. the biggest thing right now is just huge inadequacy and just massive difficulty in getting through each day. it's incredibly comforting and happy to think that in time i will help, serve and minister to others again. i guess i did last week with all the kiddos at the camp, but it was so indirect.
aaand now i'm crying more.
wanting to just know when this will end, that it will end.
someday, sometime. i will get my life back.
reminded that i find, should find, my life, hope, and identity in Christ.
and that if I do, it can't be shaken. ever.
need to work on that. :-)
--
“God often helps when there is least hope, and saves His people in that way which they think will destroy. There is never a providence of God, but has either a mercy or a wonder in it. How stupendous and infinite is that wisdom, that makes the most adverse dispensations work for the good of His children.
thomas watson
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