heart issues

These last few days have been rough.
Sunday and Monday especially weary & those days and today just full of apathy and sadness.

Seeing and trying to see more of what's going on in my heart with all of this.

Anger.
I can be tempted to be angry at my situation, and especially at others. I'm not sure if it's envy that they don't have the darkness they have, or anger when they don't understand it. But anger is not good and not okay - I need to fight it.

Discontent
And I'm not sure what it is I want. I want for this to be over, but I don't know what that means. I don't know what this is and what I want to change. But I know I'm not embracing my situation. I need to remember that no change is what I need to be happy - God is enough, and more than enough, and a beautiful portion. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places.